Saturday, May 28, 2005

ping?

Well, that’s like seven times now that I’ve promised to blog and haven’t. Just trying to get rid of the chaff, you know. Now the only people who check this website are googling for typo’d versions of otherwise clever phrases or people with abhorrently boring jobs. Say it with me – abhorrently – rivals ‘hemorrhage’ as far as painful words go.

Well folks, I join you in the workforce of people with oft-abhorrent jobs. At one point in my life, I’d argue that I have the silver lining of curing the world of Alzheimer’s Disease? But like a canned spiel that dies with overuse (“bizzaro” metaphors?), the curing the world b.s. died on me somewhere between college application essays and graduate school application essays. Words like ‘fascination’ and ‘exhilaration for biology’ – well they all became vague smells that remind me of more hopeful days gone by.

On that note, there’s not a hint of depression in this fine young soul. To the rest of the world, every time I post a blog entry or send out an email that’s mildly unsaccharine, I’m firing out a hearty warning to hide the sleeping pills… or Dayquil… or laxatives, or all three – man, what a combo.

So… I’m pitching a new idea here. And it’s going to come off as lame, so brace yourselves here. One thing is clear: I am about as irregular in blogging as I am without my daily dose of Metamucil (sure it’s gratuitous, but at least someday I’ll look back on this humor and feel deep shame?). OK, so now for the bad idea. I’m of the persuasion that most of my friends and/or readers are moderately clever, as some even have blogs of their own. The girlfriend even has her own blog, but that was just destiny, I’d argue. Anyhow, I’m inviting anyone (barring my mother) with anything worthwhile to say to post to this – the address is devdoot.blog at blogger dot com.

So, aside from inviting Viagra ads to my blog and taking flack for being violently unoriginal and lazy, this space might not suck if I get some guest musings. Alright.

Now, for some life updates. I’m in a lab, life is stable and slow. My personal trainer has stopped comparing me to women and now compares my strength to the goose. “You know about the goose, right?” “The goose, Troy?” “The goose can shit real quick and hard, but can’t shit for very long.” I guess that’s what happens when personal trainers meet the morally ambiguous universe of Chinese proverbs. As my strength has marginally increased, I enjoy looking at my arms at there is a noticeable twitch when I flex – there’s a real before-and-after difference, folks. (We’re talking trimspa/Jared caliber, but not the abflex dude – he has me and Jared beat hands down.) Anyhow, my fascination for my own arms gets me into trouble while I’m spotting other people. Moral: vanity kills.

OK, well if I want to keep this regular, I’ll save summore for tomorrow. And there will be a tomorrow… before August at least.
Hah?