no more double shots

Product*	Caffeine Content (milligrams)
Brewed Coffee (one cup)	135
Diet Coke (can)	47
Red Bull (sugarfree)	80

Right, so I enjoy being calorically challenged. So naturally, I drink quite a bit of the above. But it turns out that taking in over ~350 mg of Caffeine correlates well with headaches. In fact, a full 45% of headaches among Americans can be attributed to coffee. And yes, the bottle of tylenol is no stranger to me.

So that leaves me in a quandary. An older prof was talking to us yesterday and mentioned how he gave up caffeine after discovering heart errythmias. That's no good. Now, Eric -- my favorite hypochondriac in denial -- gave up caffeine entirely months ago. I didn't see why -- he drank like a half cup for social reasons every fortnight. But whatever, I suddenly see a purpose for going decaf.

Bottom line -- if I'm cranky or awful or rude in the coming days, let's be nice and blame it on the coffee withdrawal, eh? (In all seriousness, there's no way I'm sticking to this, but it's one of those stalinistic 5 year plans that might end up getting done.) Maybe I'll finally invest $10 in a Nalgene bottle, start drinking water, eat cereal for fiber, brush my teeth after lunch, and generally turn into that hemmorhoidal vestige of life that lives only to await death.

What is it, an official email holiday? I'm getting NO email whatsoever. I'd welcome some spam at this point, dammit.